Beautiful robots dancing alone.

Though it’s the end of Bloggin’ Bliss, I won’t stop updating my blog! I plan to do it at least 4 days a week, even if I bore any reader there may be to death, so I apologize in advance. To end this, I’m going to write about my mom, and why I support the Kidney Foundation!

In spring 2004, my dad found my mom gasping for air in bed, and just shortly after that, while waiting for the paramedics, she became quite unresponsive. Her eyes kept rolling back, we had to keep snapping in her face and keeping her eyes open and everything, it was just HORRIBLE. Well they took her to the emergency room and thought she’d had a heart attack. It was really scary, I couldn’t even go in her room they kept me and my dad outside, she was like shaking all over the place, I can honestly say I thought she was dying. But about 20 minutes later they had her in this weird head thing that was feeding her oxygen, and she was responsive! She couldn’t talk, obviously, but if you talked to her she completely understood and could shake her head yes/no, whatever. Later that day after hours of tests, they found she had CHF, or, Congestive Heart Failure. She didn’t have a heart attack, but this is just as bad in my eyes.

They kept her in the hospital that night and ran even more tests, only to find she also had kidney failure. Right now she has about 7% kidney function left. Which means she pees about 3 drops a day. I know that sounds gross, drops but really I just want you to understand the stuff she goes through. And she says when she has to pee, it’s like us when we hold ours for any amount of time, she really feels like she “has to pee like a racehorse!” Her words, since this blog post is all for her, I’ve got her sitting here feeding me info when I need help. Or when she wants to add in her own little quip.

Long story short, she was put on HemoDialysis, where she has a catheter coming from her neck and she has to be hooked to a machine at a Dialysis center, 3 days a week, 3 1/2 to 4 hours a day. It’s horrible. She comes out of there like a zombie, feeling as if she’s been run-over by a semi, ten times over. I feel bad for her, but it’s life and it’s what she needs to do. Oh, also, they did find she had both Kidney & CHF due to untreated high blood pressure. So for those of you out there with your parents who have high stress levels, eat salty foods, or just don’t know what causes high blood pressure; please educate yourselves. Then, you can educate your parents, and make sure they get to the doctor and are healthy. I’m sorry but I believe anyone over 45 should be seeing a Cardiologist yearly, if your insurance pays for it, why not? They could save your life, afterall.

So here we are, almost 6 years after my mom first had her catheter in, and she’s still going. I won’t say strong, because you all know every couple of months she winds up in the hospital again, but it’s a small price to pay to stay alive. One of these days I’m hoping she’ll take my damn kidney, as I only need one. I keep telling her the other is sitting there playing patty-cake, as annoyed at her as I am while she stays indecisive about taking it. If anything, I get a laugh out of her. But to be honest, all I want is my mom around for as long as God will have her. And I’m hoping that’s at least 20 years to come!

I love you mom

I got my assignments today for the week ahead, and I decided to park my butt and do them. The last 2 assignments I did, I waited until the day before to hand them in. I hate when I get that close to a deadline. So I ended up doing 2/4 today, which is awesome! I did one that would be due Wednesday, and another that would be due Friday. Now I just have 2 left that will be due Thursday, but I plan to do them when I’m waiting for my mom to be done with her dialysis tomorrow.

I feel like I woke up this morning with a new perspective on really important issues. I realized that I really do hold a lot in and it does no good for anyone. So when I wrote everything out 2 nights ago, it helped me to get things in order. And the stuff I had control over but let spiral out of control, I think I now know how to get a grip on them. I realize to anyone reading this, it is all confusing. But it makes tons of sense in my head, so hopefully that’s all that matters, lol.

I opened up to someone last night and it felt pretty damn good, lol. It’s been awhile since I was able to let someone in and know the deep stuff that makes me who I am, but I felt I owed it to this person. And I was right. I feel so much better now and I feel like this is only going to help us move forward. I should’ve done this so long ago, I guess I was just scared.

So depending on when/if I get the money from school, my happy ass will be taking a trip to Universal Studios this spring. Why in the spring, you ask? THE WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER will be opening in Spring 2010!! OMFG I am so excited, I watched the videos, checked out the pictures, looked at the map of the park. I’m in serious heaven. I’m so dragging someone with me because it’s going to be AWESOME and I want to share the excitement with others lol.

I finally got a grade on the first assignment I did for school, I got a 30/30! Ahh I am so excited, lol. I’m pretty sure I squealed when I saw the grade. I of course immediately IMed Courtney with my excitement, haha. She’s still idle now, though. WAKE UP COURTNEY!

I am so off on my days! I woke up this morning to go pee and my mom was already getting dressed. I totally forgot she has Dialysis today! I’m such a flake, I swear. I need someone to call me like every day just to tell me what day it is before I get out of bed. I was able to at least get a quick shower in before I had to drive her up to Meriden. Ugh that is such a horrible drive in the pouring rain. It’s miserable coming back by myself, too. And then it started hailing when I hit Middlefield, so that was lovely!

Oh let me touch on Thanksgiving yesterday. I said we’d see how the day went, it was pretty horrible. My dad of course had 2 HUGE plates. It was so disgusting watching him eat. I literally threw up in my mouth a little while I ran for the bathroom. He is so gross! My mom ate a LOT too, I was surprised. She rarely touches her meals anymore. But right after she took the last bite, she went to lay down lol. I laid down most of the day, but I wasn’t napping. I read 2 books. Fourth Comings and Perfect Fifths. The Jessica Darling series I do believe is my absolute favorite. I feel like I’ve really grown with the characters! I think I read Sloppy Firsts when I was either 19 or 20, so I guess in a way, I have, lol. I just don’t understand how it’s considered young adult. There are many parts in the books that are NOT young adult. They are very much adult, and enough to make me blush. Like Marcus Flutie in the shower in Perfect Fifths? WOWWW, lol. Okay that’s all I’ll say on that though, for those of you who haven’t read the series, do it! You won’t be sorry.

I hate Thanksgiving. I hate what it’s become. Everyone uses it as a holiday to overeat. I cannot stand to watch people sit there, their guts getting larger and larger, their breaths being cut short and the ultimate sigh of fullness. AND THEN THEY KEEP EATING. Omfg it’s enough to make me puke just thinking about it. I became fat because I’m lazy and I don’t exercise. Not because I ever overate at anytime in my life. I don’t eat nearly enough, or sometimes, the right things. I don’t know. It’s 9AM and I just woke up to help my mom start with the cooking, so we’ll see how bad she and my dad do later today!

I again stayed up late watching The Big Bang Theory. I really wish I had not downloaded the first and second seasons, and just waited until they were on like Season 5, so I’d have more to watch. Because once I am done watching the 3 seasons, I won’t have anything to look forward to. Stupid Stupid Stupid, lol.

Ok time to throw Taquisha in the oven. I gave that bitch a good rub and tons of Rosemary and Thyme, so she better do me right this afternoon! All 15lbs of her.

I took the garbage out and heard SO much noise! I looked across the street and there was seriously at LEAST 150 crows just circling around and in the trees. All I kept thinking about was the movie The Birds, lmao! I ran my ass back inside really quick. I can still hear them out there! I don’t know what’s going on, I didn’t see any dead animals over there, especially nothing large enough to keep all of the birds there for this amount of time. I’m thoroughly freaked out right now, and glad we only have 1 window and 2 french doors in this batcave hahaha. It actually came in handy for once.

Another blah day in Connecticut. It’s dreary again, very gray out and drizzling. I feel like I’m in Forks, WA. Okay maybe I’ve read/watched the twilight saga too often. Especially now that I am forming sentences about it, hah. But as fast as I got dressed to run an errand today, I got back in my jammies even quicker. I used to love these kinds of days, but lately I feel like I’m wasting time. From doing what? I have no idea. Everything that needs to be done around here is done. Yet I still feel like I have more to do. I’m an odd duck.

I did my first assignment right! It was so relieving. I barely got any sleep last night because I was up second guessing myself as usual. But when I woke up this morning and checked my status, sure enough I was given proper credit for everything. I’m telling you guys, I seriously wanted to cry out of joy, lol. It was such an easy thing to do, but I felt proud of myself for actually getting it done. Which I wouldn’t have been able to do without Courtney’s encouragement and guidance!

I found that out last night while watching The Big Bang Theory, Season One. I am really attracted to Sheldon, LOL. He’s cute in a nerd way. He’s an asshole because he’s so smart, but I find that attractive, too. So weird!

Anywho, today was off because I’m not used to my moms schedule for this week. Because of the holiday they switched her Dialysis days around. This week she is going Sunday, Tuesday, Friday. While she normally goes Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I know it’s just one day difference for each day, but it still has thrown me off. I can’t wait for Friday when I’ll feel everything is back on track, haha.

So Thanksgiving is 2 days away, woohoo. One full day I can sleep my life away! I can’t wait, seriously. My dad can hog the living room TV for football and I can chill out without anyone asking me for a damn thing. It’s sad those days are the ones I look forward to most. No social interaction with anyone unless I WANT to. That sounds really bad, doesn’t it? I’ve become so emotionally unattached to people lately. It’s not good, but I just am in a funk I guess. That and I am already feeling like I’m too incompetent to actually complete my school work. Which is due in about 6 hours, and I haven’t even read anything more. Like yesterday, I still am reading the same two pages over and over again.

Something’s gotta give, yeah?

I’d like to know who, besides my dad, still watches Two and a Half Men? I had CBS on tonight for Big Bang Theory and just listening to Two and a Half Men gives me a headache. It’s annoying! Charlie Sheen isn’t even close to being funny. The only decent one in the show is the son. And the maid, or whatever she is. I hope it gets canceled soon, I could really do without hearing the damn theme song all the time. My dad hums it most every day.

Today sucked, really. Nothing happened. It just rained all day. I woke up to gray skies with threatening clouds. It was like that the entire day, until it FINALLY started pouring. I laid in bed and watched TV all day, stuffing my face with the Munchkins my mom bought at Dunkin’ Donuts last night. Yep, a true fatass! haha.

Got some school work done. It was the first day of classes today, all I had to do was post my little 313 word biography. Realll hard, lol. But I’m getting kind of nervous. There’s a lot of readings that have to be done for assignments. I don’t read well online. And one of the first things I need to read and respond to is 8 pages long. And it bored me to tears! I keep reading the same 2 pages over and over again, and retain nothing. Shit, shit, shit.

I wasn’t hugely excited for Twilight when it came out. Loved the books, but I really wasn’t pleased for Kristen Stewart as Bella. She’s not who I envisioned at all, and I didn’t like her in anything else I saw. She’s not my kind of actress I guess. So anywayyy I didn’t really care for the movie once it was on DVD. It’s OK, but as I figured, the acting was horrible and there was little to no chemistry between anyone in the cast. I’m over here quietly blaming Kristen btw HOWEVER, I was thoroughly excited for New Moon. Which surprises me, because of the four books, it was my least favorite. It focused too much around Jacob for my liking, I suppose. I don’t like that Bella would lead him on, tell the truth then lead him on again. And I hated that he was such a pussy, he kept letting it happen. It was so clear where her heart was but he still tried. Pathetic, and I hate him LOL. I keep going off course here.

Anyway I was so damn excited I had enough money to go to the movie, and Dan wanted to see it too! So off we went at Midnight last night. WOWZA that movie blew my expectations out of the water. I’m not gonna talk about what happened and spoil it for anyone. But the ending was like ……..WHAT!? WHAT!!!!!???? I almost wanted to sit there and see if they come back all, hahaha just kidding! But no I cannot wait for June. I’m already excited for Eclipse, lol. I think maybe next weekend I’ll laze around and read the books again.

I am so addicted to facebook games. It’s sad when I am relaxing in a different room and I sit up quick and say, “OH, SHIT! MY FOOD IS DONE!” or “OH, SHIT! MY CROPS ARE READY!” I even dream about these things. Or I’ll plant/make food around my sleep schedule. It’s so disgusting. The only thing I can thank, is that the services are free. If I had to pay for these games, I wouldn’t. I guess that’s why I don’t really miss not having The Sims all that much. Oh, who am I kidding. I am dying over here without the sims! LOL

Today was pretty uneventful. I just did a bit of grocery shopping for my grandma and then I came home and did nothing all day. I made plans with Dan, we’re going to see New Moon tonight at the 12AM showing. I hate to go earlier because all of the little freakazoid teens & twimoms are out. No thanks! So I really hope we can have a nice quiet movie, but I’m not betting on it! There’s always one crazy out past their bed time I guess that would be Dan & I though, huh? haha.

edit: I was in such a rush to do this before I left last night, that I forgot to make it public. Sorry!